When Should My Child See a Counsellor? A Supportive Guide for Parents considering Counselling
Updated: 6 days ago
It can be difficult to know when a child is going through a normal stage of development and when some extra support might help.
Children go through periods of worry, big emotions, changes in behaviour, friendship difficulties and challenging developmental stages. These don't always mean that something is wrong or that your child needs counselling.
Rather than looking for one particular sign, it can be helpful to think about what has changed for your child, how long it has been happening, and how much it is affecting their everyday life.
Signs your child may benefit from counselling support
Counselling may be worth considering when your child seems to be struggling more than usual, when difficulties are continuing rather than settling with time and support, or when they are beginning to interfere with everyday life.
You might notice:
ongoing worries, sadness, anger or withdrawal
changes in sleep, appetite, school engagement or friendships
difficulty expressing feelings or managing strong emotions
increasing avoidance of school, activities or situations they previously managed
big reactions following family change, separation, loss, trauma or other stressful experiences
changes in behaviour that feel significant or out of character for your child
Sometimes there is an identifiable reason a child is struggling. At other times, parents simply notice that their child doesn't seem quite themselves. They might be more anxious, angry, withdrawn or emotional, or you may find yourself increasingly worried about how they're coping.
The presence of one of these things doesn't necessarily mean your child needs counselling. What matters is the bigger picture: your child's age and development, what is happening around them, how long the difficulty has been present, and the impact it is having on them and your family.
What child counselling can look like
Counselling with children doesn't always look like counselling with adults.
Support should be tailored to a child's age, development, personality and circumstances. Depending on the child, sessions might include talking, play, creative activities or other developmentally appropriate ways of communicating and making sense of their experiences.
For younger children in particular, play can provide an important way to communicate experiences and feelings that they may not yet have the words to explain.
Parents are also an important part of the process. This might involve parent consultations alongside a child's counselling, thinking together about what may be sitting underneath particular behaviours, understanding your child's developmental and emotional needs, and finding practical ways to support them at home.
The aim isn't to find something "wrong" with a child or to blame children or parents for the difficulties they're experiencing. Counselling can provide a safe, supportive relationship in which children and families can better understand what is happening, strengthen emotional understanding and connection, and develop practical ways forward.
How parents can take the next step
You don't need to wait until things become overwhelming before asking for support. And you don't have to know whether your child actually needs counselling before speaking with someone.
Sometimes a parent consultation is the most useful first step.
It provides an opportunity to talk through what you've been noticing, consider what might be happening for your child, and think about whether individual counselling, parent support or another type of support would be most helpful.
I offer child and adolescent counselling and parent consultation from my practice in Wheelers Hill, Melbourne, as well as via Telehealth across Australia.
If you're unsure about the right starting point for your child or family, you're welcome to get in touch to discuss your concerns and the available options.
If you are concerned about your child's immediate safety, please contact emergency services or an appropriate crisis service in your area.
